i promised myself i would write something in here someday soon

and that was yesterday. so now it is time. i can't decide if i want to write about all my glorious adventures in the past month or so but really, it's become hard to remember things since i've lost my mind. so i wont. i will however write about how my parents have been away and i have the freedom to dance around in my underwear, tom cruise risky business style, but i dont do that. ever. i like my independence and the hot humid sticky summer air caressing all body parts, and i like the fact that i can drink wine late at night, i can smoke a cigarette outside, i can wake up and not hear my mother gossiping on the phone about the trials and tribulations of being a 1st grade teacher with the summer off BUT OH MY GOD LIFE IS SO HARD and i have full reign of the living room and i can leave all my crap wherever i please and basically I OWN THIS HOUSE AND IT IS FINALLY NOW THAT I CAN CLAIM WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE. but then again, there are times when i realize i miss my mother. like when it's time to cook dinner. the other night i was trying to make a veggie sandwhich like how my mom makes it. so i try and call her up but she doesnt answer her phone because she's on the other line so i call my dad instead- and i go " dad i really miss mom and i need to ask her a question and she isnt answering the phone" within moments my momther calls me back "UGH OKAY, Kelley, whats wrong?" And i go " well..... remember the other day when you made me that grilled vegetable sandwhich.... i wanna make it but i don't know how to make grilled vegetables" "I GOT OFF THE OTHER LINE FOR A SANDWHICH?!" Yeah, i got her good (sure put an extra spring in my step) and learned some vitals. Grilled vegetables are made on the bbq. i have a bbq. there is no way i'm using it though. not because it's cold, but rather, because it just wont happen. and i probably won't even buy vegetables. but i digress- you cut them length wise, marinate them with maybe some evoo or terriaki sauce, and then GRILL THEM on the bbq. AND THIS IS LIFE AND THIS IS GRILLED VEGETABLES. and this is probably something you totally don't care about. SORRY.

sometimes i think about this blog. here we go.

dear blog,

i like you, i really like writing. i really like writing in you. i want to be one with you. you and i, blog love. for life. but i dont think anyone reads you. actually, i am pretty sure i didnt tell anyone about you. GOD, i am having a secret love affair with you. yes, a deep passionate, emotional love affair that is leaving me torn (like that natalie imbruglia song). why am i hiding you? why haven't i told anyone about you? dear blog, why should i keep you secret? this is entertaiing RIGHT? people would want to read you, RIGHT? but then i think good lord, this is fucking vain. i'm not blogging about any world wide political or cultural notions, for CHRISSAKES i'm blogging about grilled vegetables and britney spears and wouldn't it be vain and self indulgent for me to broadcast to the whole wide world, and by the way, blogspot is the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, about my life as if they actually care?! I do not know. i need more time. actually, i need more sanity. wtf is with this shit i write?

xoxo ((that's E-KISSES and E-HUGS),

ME

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EDIT:

i forgot to include that my brother had a party two nights ago and it was LIKE SUCH A RAGER. well today, in between me being a waste of life, watching tv in the family room in my undies and being a social degenerate, i decided GEE I HAVE TO PEE. So, i decided to use the little bathroom next to the front door that i never use ever, and but today is a fine and glorious day so i did. and it smelled like ass. at first, i thought, this is why i never use this bathroom, but then i thought, no that's not why it's really because i dont like the close proximity the front door and the way the window is visible to the porch, but anyway, then, i found a TURD. a long gross disgusting brown EW FUCKING GROSS TURD... in the GARBAGE CAN. WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS YOUNGER GENERATION. HAVE PEOPLE NO DECENCY? HAVE THESE KIDDIES LOST THEIR GODDAMN MIND?
So, today is August 7, 2008, today is the day i found a turd in my garbage can. sometimes life is fucking funny. but not haha funny. and sometimes, it's just fucking smelly.